Parenting the Parent

When you take care of your kids, you make sure they get enough rest, eat nutritious foods, get enough exercise, and wear clean clothes. You also make sure they are clean themselves, their surroundings are clean, and that they get their homework done. Plus, you try to teach them right from wrong, how to get along with others, and teach them to have faith in a higher power.

No wonder why you are so exhausted as a parent! Plus, you still have to take care of the house, any other duties outside of the house (as in a job if you work full or part time), and try to be a good spouse to your spouse.

So, when do YOU fit in to the equation? If you’re anything like me, you fall by the wayside. Weight piles on. The house looks like Toys ‘R Us threw up. Dust bunnies are planning a revolution in your house. Your last date with your spouse was sometime early last year, or maybe even sometime last century (hey, I can say that with complete accuracy! The century didn’t turn over until 2001.) Stress tears you apart so quickly, and it affects every aspect of your life.

What do you do? Well, for me, I’ve been hiding for the past few months because I was so overwhelmed with everything. I don’t know how to take care of everything plus myself at the same time. But, remember the old saying “if momma’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy”? Yeah, it is very true. If you’re not happy as a mom, it affects every aspect of your life, and it really affects your relationship with your kids.

I am trying to take better care of myself, or parenting myself better. I am trying to care for myself like I care for my kids. Thanks to Santa (you know who you are- and another huge thanks to you!), we got a Wii and a Wii Fit for Christmas. I’ve been trying to use the Wii Fit once a day for 20 minutes so that I can get my exercise in (my gosh that thing kicks my butt on some exercises!!) I am drinking more water, trying to make better food choices.

However, I am still very hard on myself. I need to learn how to be nicer, kinder to myself.

The house is still a wreck since we returned from Florida. I will always have a huge pile of laundry to do. I did manage to declutter part of my computer desk. I started therapy again. I don’t know if it’s part of my depression or just part of my perfectionist personality that I want everything done NOW, then I get overwhelmed because I don’t know where to start, then I give up. Then, nothing gets done. Is this the lesson I want to teach my boys?

Ironically, I haven’t been very tearful lately. I’ve been taking new medicine- Abilify, 2mg- along with my Cymbalta and Topamax. I guess since I totally messed up on finishing my incomplete classes, I’m trying to pick myself up and look at things with a new view- i.e. the parenting lens. Is this how I would treat my kids?

Unfortunately, sometimes I am very picky with them. I do expect a lot from them. But do I do to them what my mother did to me- no way! I don’t make them be house slaves like I was when I was 9 years old.

I want to take better care of myself so I can take better care of my family. I’m hoping that my friends out here in my blog community can help support me in this goal. 🙂

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7 responses

  1. I understand a lot of what you said. I am very hard on my kids, I recognize this, but I’m not as hard as my mother was on me. It was she and I for a long time till she remarried. Then my little brother came along, he and I shared a room & so that mom would get some sleep, I would get up with him at night & feed him. It wasn’t asked of me but I was always the kid that looked how things affected others and tried to help THEM out, forgetting that *I* was just a child. Then the second brother came and we fell on some hard times, we lived in a 1 room hotel where the 5 of us all slept. I took care of both boys (they were about 2 years apart) while mom & step-dad worked nights. I was 11 & 12 at the time.

    To this day my husband will look at me and tell me (nicely) that I’m acting like my mother and to chill. He then gives me time to go lay down and read or nap or whatever I need/want to do.

    You can always DM me or @ me on twitter (@smckinney79)
    Have a good night/morning and take care of you!

  2. You and me both! This is a great post and I’m so happy to see you feeling better- seeing you feel things are within your reach, with this attitude, they are! You are great! Best to you! You’ve got my support any time Michelle!

  3. So happy to see you are feeling better! Yeah Wii! Isn’t that thing cool?

    Keep Positive, take those baby steps & take time for you! Isn’t life awesome!?

  4. Wow you explained it for us all. There been many times I fell like this and as you said it’s hard to get out of. You do need to be less hard on yourself through as raising children. home and having a relationship = stress! I wish me and my Hubby got more but sadly we don’t. My little boy who has aspergers has real issues with us leaving even if with family! There are times we don’t face that problem but then again something will pop up:( Alice is sick or I’m to sleeply due to the lack of sleep that again is a factor in depression. Everyday is a new day and as them days go on you should become a little more stronger and less hard on yourself. deppression is a hard one but with the support of others we can make it though another day.
    ps look forward to hearing from you on twitter:) Good luck
    Claire louise

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