Rants, rememberances, and a recipe


→Well, we’ve had quite a historic week in the US, haven’t we? Even though I prayed hard, went to the voting booth, and talked to many people about why we should vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin, my hopes for a McCain/Palin win were dashed at around 11:00pm that fateful Tuesday, November 4th night. Honestly, I was sick to my stomach when the electoral college projections were coming in on CNN. I was almost in tears when I was watching John McCain’s eloquent concession speech. I wanted to throw heavy objects at the TV when Obama was making his victory speech.

Then, something happened overnight. I looked at things with tired eyes, but tried to see things with a little bit of an optimistic view. I looked at the crowds’ faces during the victory speech, and started to feel… a surge of pride.

We actually made history during this election. I’ve never seen such a turnout of support for a candidate. I truly hope that fences can be mended, and we can work together to make this nation great once again.

→ I’m tired of being tired all the time. The medicines that I’m taking are making my blood pressure go higher than my normal ranges. I wake up wobbly and shaking. Sometimes, my hands go tingly and it feels like little needles are pricking my hands. I called my primary care PA-C and she said I had to go to the ER to get checked out. So, I spent about 2 hours on Election Night at the ER hooked up to wires. The attending doc said that even though my BP was what I considered high, it was within normal ranges at that time (136/84). I was sent home with the directive of taking my BP every day, and cutting down my Cymbalta down from 90mg to 60mg.

I’ve called my nurse practitioner psychiatrist, who is the one who prescribed the Cymbalta, and she left me a voice mail saying “Well, I think I’m going to defer to your primary care person.” ACK- Aren’t you the one who prescribed me this medicine and aren’t you the one who’s monitoring me on all these meds??  I’m on Cymbalta, Topamax, and Ambien CR (stopped taking the Ambien CR because I can’t afford the co-payment. Adjusting to sleep  w/o medicine assistance has been a nightmare.)

So, I’ll be back to playing phone tag tomorrow with my nurse practitioner to find out exactly what I need to do. The thing that bugs me the most is that my primary care PA is local; my nurse practitioner psychiatrist is over an HOUR’S drive away. I go to the nurse practitioner for a 20 minute consult, then drive back another over HOUR drive.  It bothers me because I feel like I’m driving so much and wasting so much gas for a lousy 20 minute appointment.

→Now before anyone jumps all over me on this, let me preface with me saying that I LOVE my sons more than I love myself. What bothers me many times is their behavior, and how blase’ they can be about how their actions affect others (okay, how their actions affect me.) Lately, my patience has been tested, put through the fire and back again with my son Casey’s behavior. I love my son, but sometimes I hate autism. There. I said it. I hate how autism just has grabbed a chokehold on our lives and has dictated so much of what happens- all of my son’s extracurricular activities are THERAPY for crying out loud. I wish I could sign him up for something fun. Hell, I wish I could sign myself up for something fun.


→Everyone- please remember our veterans on November 11th. They have done so much for our countries. Freedom isn’t free.

→ One year ago on November 7th, I had my total abdominal hysterectomy. I think that’s when my downward spiral started. Damn hormones and brain chemistry. Do you think I should start looking into getting evaluated at Mayo Clinic to find out what the hell is going on with me?


I’ve been having a huge baking rush this week. The boys had a Harvest Party at school on Friday (their school doesn’t celebrate Halloween.) I made these muffins, and Casey’s teacher just raved about them! I’ve also been talking about them on Twitter (hi to anyone who is here from my Twitter page!), and I promised to post the recipe. So, here is my own twist on a seasonal favorite.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

3/4 cup light brown sugar

1/4 cup oil

2 eggs

1 cup canned pumpkin

1/4 cup water

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

3/4 teaspoon ground ginger

1 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease and flour muffin pan or use paper liners.

Beat sugar, oil, and eggs together in a bowl until frothy. Add pumpkin and water; beat some more until well incorporated.

In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices.

Add wet mixture to dry mixture. DO NOT OVERMIX or you will have tough, dry muffins. Add chocolate chips.

Fill muffin cups 2/3 full with batter.

Bake muffins for 20-25 minutes.


If you try this recipe, let me know what you think!

Yes, this blog post was a little longer than my usual ones, but it’s been a while, and I still have a lot to unload.


6 responses

  1. Not pleased with election results either from an economic and culture war standpoint. But very proud that my boys saw Obama on People magazine the other day with the headline “He made history!” and had to ask me what that meant.

    They’d no idea that his skin color could be an issue, even though we’ve talked about racism at length before. I’ve read other parents saying the same thing: their kids just don’t see it as an issue. So hurrah for the demise of hatred (at least it’s on its sickbed).

    ((((Michelle)))) Hope the meds get balanced out and you’re feeling better soon.

  2. Geez….been waiting from a post from ya….Now I happy!! I think I’m going to try the recipe with a sugar free spin, and I’ll let you know…I love brown sugar, and have yet to find a sugar free version, I know Splenda makes a “light” mix, but that still has sugar in it….but I love to bake, and babble, apparently. Bless you and yours, and keep your chin up, we’re still out here checking on you.
    Oh, how much snow did you get today?

  3. It’s ok. I hate fxs a lot too. I hate that it has a choke hold on me and my kids. It’s hard to break free of those chains. And a week later I’m still upset about the election 😦

  4. Hi Michelle. Sounds like you are working some stuff out. Me too. I’m sorry it seems so dang hard right now. I don’t have a child that has autism but I can try to relate… I can totally see how at times it must become frustrating… you are a good mom and it’s understandable.

    If ya ever need to vent, I’m an email away.

  5. Haven’t been around lately but I just wanted to say that I supported the McCain/Palin ticket too and was EXTREMELY upset with the outcome. I look forward, however, to making sure Obama makes good on his promise to advance the cause of mental health treatment in this country.

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