Postscript to “Friend” post

You can always tell who your true friends are. I am incredibly thankful for my friends here who have commented, supported me through thick and thin, and  they are just all-around fantastic people.

Re: the concern about seeing her at my 20 year reunion: This person did not attend the high school that I did, so I will not be seeing her at my reunion.

I have in my to-moderate box 5 comments from the ex-friend whom I had attempted to reconstruct a friendship. I am still floored by the intense bile this person has. All I ever did was be honest, as many of you know that is what my mission here. Her comments include fake email addresses such as “pityparty”, “warped”, all meant to further bully me.

And that is what I consider this: cyberbullying. I thought that we had graduated high school and grown up. It is really disturbing.

Even sending me emails, then modifying them in my blog comments, to make it even more hurtful.

Long lost
warped@yahoo.com | 75.118.232.100

I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of your world for just a few days.

I love the fact that you contacted me.

I wrote only good things to you and wished you happiness.
Yes, I forgive you and I accepted your apologies.

However, If you are such a “Stellar” online friend, then you would share the whole story rather than only your point of view. Did you tell your online buddies that I was very positive to you, no. Did you give me the option of defending myself on your blog, no. Posting only your view about our brief email conversations, is a good example how selfish you really are. You did not give the “friendship” an opportunity to take off from the ground.
Point blank:
If you post about the “real life” people that come in and out of your life this way, then that’s probably why you feel you have few.

I was very open to you. You are building a wall faster than the speed of light with me.
Why? I really do not know.
What exactly you are looking for? I really do not know.

Please understand, you have to be a friend in order to have friends.
I believe I said that to you 16 years ago. So I will say it again.

Please look me up when you truly find the peace that you seek and are at least understanding the recovery process of Forgiving.
Online Blogging isn’t the cure all. The cure all starts only with you. You are the one who decides whether or not to stay in the pit or work on climbing out. I DO wish you the best with climbing out!

Be receptive to those who truly want to help. It’s obvious to me, that you are not receptive. If you were, you would not have posted
“Would *you* be my friend”

Maybe now it should read:
you have to be a friend in order to have friends & I totally screwed up again

When you are truly ready, I will be here for you.
Until then, take care of yourself, your husband **** and those beautiful boys; ***** & *****.

And it progressively degenerated:

Long lost
warped@yahoo.com | 75.118.232.100

Pitty party central here!

And then, this:

Luv you Bye
warped@yahoo.com | 75.118.232.100

“Love the ones who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe all things happen for a reason.”

Then the final slap:

UCrackMe
pittyparty@ymail.com | 12.107.188.130

Yeah, boy twiggles is right, Why did you even look her up? It’s unbelievable she would want to hurt you. Hoes does she feel about all of this? What a waste of time, really.

Yes, indeed, it was a waste of time. I’m convinced that the reason why we stopped being friends was meant to be.

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9 responses

  1. Sorry you had to go through all this! I hope you at least got something positive out of it – that you DO have friends (and that online friends can be “legitimate” 🙂 ), that your instincts are worth listening to, etc.

  2. wow. That’s some deep seeded pent up sh*t she’s got going on there. And so nice of her to be ready to ‘be there for you’ once YOU’RE healed?!? Maybe a look in the mirror and seveal months of therapy should be in her future, instead.

    Either that or she’s insanely jealous of you and your wonderful family and that you have moved beyond what you were before, something she seems to have failed miserably at.

    I’ve rarely had the opportunity to use these words, but “I’m glad you dumped the b**ch!”

    Stick with your friends who KNOW what a good friend you are.
    ((((((hug))))))

  3. Oh, shades of teenage high school behaviour and even younger!

    I simply fail to understand why this festering of feelings continues to exist to this day! So many years later! And further, to the point where it keeps going on…and on…and on… I mean, give me a break!

    I will not deny that (some) wounds may always remain fresh for a very long time. A very light covering or beginning of a scab may form but it can take anything to rip it off. However, as we grow older, we should learn that things happened in the past! We can not change them so we need to let them go and move on! If we truly care for each other and wish to work on relationships when this happens–forgive, kiss and make up, however you wish to phrase and get on with it!

    That is just ONE thing I have to say about all of this. I could bloody well go on forever as this is a touchy issue for me.

    Now, apart from “the past.” Shall we move on to “the present?”

    Where the fuck does she get off? Granted, I am not a judgmental person and I may be starting to sound like one but it almost relates (on one level) back to the point I just made. Forgiveness.

    There is a whole whack of hypocrisy going on. Veiled “forgiveness” of you and then a turn and “lessons” on how you need to forgive yourself! I am sorry but when did she become your therapist? And a right shitty one at that! Even if all of this came to fruition and you re-established a good friendship:

    a) your friends can never be your therapists as they are not professionals

    and

    b) you need to feel comfortable discussing your mentalness and problems with said friends

    I don’t know if I have ranted enough here (and been profane as well–sorry, mom.)

    Anyway, move along…move along. I, too, am sorry that you had to go through this. I do understand, however. I know what it’s like to find out who your real friends are. It’s painful but if you can get past it (and I know you will) it really is for the better…it’s just really crappy.

    Hugs,
    PA

  4. My mom always says, “consider the source” and once you really do that, you wont even feel the need to put her words on your blog. By quoting her, you’re giving her words power.
    Peace and happiness to you today and always ~M

    xoxox
    JQ14

  5. @ JQ- I put the comments up because it is my way of closing the door. I do wish that the whole thing never happened, but I had hoped that time would have matured her. I guess it didn’t.
    HUGS to you for your comments- I do appreciate them AND you!

    @PA- Don’t worry about the choice words- it’s OK. 🙂 I’ve said more than my fair share. LOL I TOTALLY agree with your b). in your list. That is SO incredibly important.

    @ Greybeard- Shoes scraped, washed, and hung to dry. 😉

    @ Arkay- I’m stickin’ like glue to my friends who are true. 🙂

    @ BookMama- Thanks, again, for your support! Online friends are just as legit- I totally agree!

  6. That is just too bad. When someone starts changing their name to address another individual that does seriously cross the line. I’m sure she reads your blog and your comments so I hope she realizes that she needs to refocus her priorities and let bygones be bygones.

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