In-between seasons

108574908_edb1d24f1b_m.jpg“Now is the winter of our discontent…” (with huge apologies to Shakespeare) is a phrase that has been buzzing around in my head for the past few months. Usually winter signals the figurative end of one thing- usually a death, a completion of a season in someone’s life.

With my current season of discontent due to my depression, it is very hard to keep up with my sons’ season of spring. My boys are in the springtime of their lives, constantly growing, on-the-go with energy levels that I wish I could bottle up and save forever. Because I’m stuck in winter, I’m missing the beauty of my sons’ spring, and it makes me feel even worse. Like the crocuses in the picture above, the beauty of the flowers (my sons) is being held back by my constant white, frozen mood.

There have been so many times recently where I wish that I could turn back time, go back a few seasons in my own life, and try to recapture what I lost. Since I’ve become a mom, the seasons have been flying by at an alarming rate for me, and I look back to see all the things that I wish I had savored a bit longer. My boys are in the spring, soon it will be summer for them, and how much more will I miss because I’m in my winter?

Moms (all parents, actually), please don’t wish away the seasons. Don’t look at the calendar and think “Gee, if only my baby could walk…”, or “When am I ever going to sleep through the night?” Those days will come upon you so quickly, and then you’ll be wishing you had one more day to cuddle your child like you did when he/she was a baby.

Also, if this picture above is any hope that I will soon have a spring again, I hope to bloom like those beautiful crocuses, and join my sons in their springtime. I want the snows of this depression to melt away and reveal the beauty of what life can hold for me and my family.

Photo graciously supplied by Beta Karel through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.

This post was written for MamaBlogga’s March/April Group Writing Project. Get writing and enter today! This month’s theme is “Savoring the Season.”


22 responses

  1. I think the picture you’ve chosen here is especially opportune. Crocuses (and other bulb flowers like daffodils and lilies) usually need a period of cold and dark to make them send up their stalks. Crocuses are made to break through the snow to get to the light: it’s part of the natural order of things.

    Take heart.

    Thanks for participating!

  2. Pingback: March/April GWP Days One and Two | MamaBlogga

  3. Thank you all for the touching comments. This post came pretty easily because I’ve had it bottled up for so long.

    @Jordan- You hit something that I didn’t really know about- the need for the flowers to be in the dark for the winter so they can come up in the spring. I guess we all have our dark moments so we can better appreciate the lighter ones.

  4. I can so relate to what you share, so much so I blogged about it separately from the MamaBlogga GWP. Not sure if I can leave links but if you are interested, I wrote a post called “Emerging” at the Christian Writers Blog dated last Sunday. Depression is debilitating but I do believe for every darkness, comes a dawn. You are doing the right thing by sharing your heart–and you write so well.

    Thank you also for visiting my sarcastic post on Spring.

    Blessings to you.

  5. Hello Beartwinsmom,

    I loved your story, and really like your parallel between the seasons of the year and the seasons of life. I suppose I’m late Summer (I’m 38) and my children are very much in Spring. I can relate to your feelings of melancholy about how fast children grow up.

    My youngest is four now and he’s losing that toddler padding of fat. And it makes me a bit wishful for those days of babies and toddlers. But I also remind myself to learn from the speed those years went by, and to pay attention during these years.

    I think your picture is full of hope, and I hope it represents your feelings in the future.

    best regards from the cold Netherlands, where Spring still hasn’t sprung.

    Nicole also know as Running Mommy

  6. I think your “handle” is also apropos for the spring, and ultimately yourself: sometimes in the winter, the joy hibernates. Then the sun shines a bit more, you feel the warming, you see the layers of cold melt away and there you are-standing in the sun, savoring a new season.

    Here’s to the warm sun on your face soon.

    here via GWP

  7. Hi and thanks for visiting my site and leaving such a wonderful comment. It’s nice to meet you.

    This post really resonated with me because I struggle with depression too. I feel like I’m basically sleepwalking through my girls’ childhoods some of the time – I really liked your description of it as comparing your ‘wintertime’ to your sons’ ‘springtime’. So very true and important to remember. Thank you.

    I’m off to check out more of your site! 🙂

  8. Pingback: March/April Group Writing Project Finale | MamaBlogga

  9. Pingback: MamaBlogga’s March/April Group Writing Project Finale « The Beartwinsmom’s Den

  10. Pingback: Results from MamaBlogga’s Springtime Group Writing Project } Group Writing Projects

  11. Pingback: Life is short! at Homeschool Diva

  12. Pingback: Tales of life with a girl on the go » Blog Archive » Savour the Season

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