Now don’t get me wrong- I love my sons. I just have this need, want, desire, call it what you will, to get out and have some ME time. Time that it not rushed, structured, paced, or monotonous. Time where I can do something fun, that recharges me, and doesn’t feel like work.
Basically, since I am a stay-at-home-mom, I have multiple jobs, none of which are paying. The first is Chief Boy Wrangler. I am responsible for taking care of these two boys 24/7/365, with no breaks in between at all. You could also call this job Chief Zoo Keeper because it’s constantly feeding time at our house (they always say they’re HUNGRY. What the heck am I going to do when they are teenagers? They’re only 6 years old now!), Conflict Resolver (if they’re not playing nice with each other, they’re pounding on each other), or Chief Entertainment System (“Momma, I’m booooooooooooooooooooooooooooored…. what can I do?”). The other job entails housekeeping (or rather, trying to keep up with the house, which is never-ending, and sadly, a very difficult thing to do with two boys who constantly undo any progress I do manage to accomplish), and Chief Menu Planner (that is another job that needs major improvement…. I’m beginning to OD on grilled cheese sandwiches).
Then there is my other career of graduate student. Have I mentioned before that I was crazy to think about doing this in the first place? Then to not only do one program, but two at the same time? I love being a student because when I do a project, learn something new, I get feedback. It’s rewarding when my professor tells me that I did a good job, and when I see that grade on my project, it is a reminder to me that yes, I still do have a brain, and that it does work. Being a parent is very hard because the only feedback you get most of the time is when you have conflict, and that is all usually negative feedback.
Then there are the committees that I’m in: community representative for Policy Council for Head Start, parent representative for the Great Start Collaborative, parent representative for the Early Childhood Initiative Corporation (ECIC), parent representative for the Parent Advisory Committee for special education, attending school board meetings, and possibly involvement with my sons’ school’s PTO (Parent Teacher Organization). I do these things not only because I believe in them (improvement in early childhood education and parental support in these areas), but I am also doing these things so that I can put them on my resume if/when I ever get back into teaching again. I don’t want potential employers to think that all I did for the past 7 years is sit on my fat butt and eat bon-bons while the boys played soccer (neither of which happened! LOL). The networking is also incredibly important to me, because through my involvement with all these different committees, I have met so many people and have learned so much that has helped me become a better teacher and parent (at least I hope so).
So… how many more plates do I spin before they all come crashing down? Right now I feel like they’re all teetering on the brink of crashing. My temper is short, and I am tired all the time. I’m falling back into my pattern of stress-eating, and with the weight I’ve lost so far on Weight Watchers, I don’t want to gain it all back.
Momma needs to be nurtured so she can nurture others, but it’s hard when that nurturing part feels like work.