Yesterday was the lowest that I have felt since March this year. I have not had those kind of dark thoughts and feelings race through my head so rapidly since I made the call to get counseling help (once again) this Spring. I actually had thoughts of cutting myself and I have never cut.

I’m not posting any of this as a pity party plea (so ex-psycho-friend can just piss off right there) nor as a scare tactic. I am tired, alone, and am tired of feeling like this.

To borrow (with apologies) from the State Farm insurance agency advertisement campaign, this is how I’ve been:

“You know that place where you feel like the world would be better off without you?

I’m there.”

Well, I have about 20 minutes to squeak this one in while it is still 7/30/08.

Happy  Blogoversary to me. I can’t believe it’s been one year since I started writing this and it has morphed into so many things. At first it was just going to be an update vehicle for my friends and family. Then, the depression hit, and the morphing began.

I have written 145 posts (146 after this one), accumulated a total of 170 tags. Many kind people have left 577 comments. My visitors stats show me that about 5,582 people have come to read what I write (many of you I hope are repeat visitors. ).

So, thanks to all of you whom I’ve met on this blogging journey. I’m hoping for a good year for the next one.

My husband is a trumpet player in the Key West Permafrost Blues Band, which is becoming quite a popular band up here in the northern area. He is also the webmaster for the site. He has just added a new fun application where you can generate your own blues name.  You can click on the “Generate The Name” button repeatedly until you find the name that you like.

I’m “Itchy Peach Taylor”.

If you do this, please add what blues name you are in the comments area. It will be fun to see what name you have.

I need a serious kick in the ol’ behind. Again, I having a hard time getting my head into my work. My moods have been up, down, up, down, up, down this weekend. That should count for exercise, shouldn’t it?

Tuesday is the evaluation with the neuropsychologist for Casey and me.

Wednesday is a HUGE day in our family. We are participating in the Easter Seals Walk With Me. Casey is an Honorary Ambassador this year, and we are so incredibly proud and excited. We are collecting donations for the Walk; you can make a secure donation at this site, or you can contact via email (just leave a comment on this post and I can contact you) and we can set something up. I know the economy totally sucks right now, so if you can’t donate, please keep us in your thoughts for a successful walk, good weather, and a fun day.