Since my “induction” into being a mom of an autistic child, I have studied hard to find the ties that connect autism to us. I’ve researched all ends of the spectrum, from biological, medical, environmental, neurological, and sociological ties. In these 7 years since I have been baptised by fire, I will admit that I am in no way a global expert on autism. I can, however, look at autism globally and see the ties that many people try to make with their theories.
From what I’ve witnessed in our autism community, some actions, attitudes, and axioms are very polarizing. We have a very turbulent community, almost heartbreaking in its non-support of eachother as we all cling ferociously to our hypotheses of the cause of autism. We even have a dichotomy within our community of people who want a cure for autism, and those who support “neurodiversity” and are happy with being autistic, claiming it is their essence so why destroy it. I have attested on various occasions of intense debate among all levels of the spectrum, the “cure-bies” (the ones that a cure), the “bio-meds” (the ones who believe that autism is caused by vaccines), the “neurodiverse” (autism is a neurological part of their brain, please accept it for what it is), and those of us who see all sides and just want all of us on the spectrum to support each other.
How can the “outside world” take anything that we say for fact if we are all shouting different messages with varying degrees of intensity, often drowning and cancelling each other out?
In my experience, you need to look at all sides of this issue. It is such a monstrosity that if one doesn’t take time to study each level of the spectrum, he/she would be foolish. I have much family experience with autism from not just my son, but also other family members including myself. (Yes, I have Asperger’s traits as well.) You could say that not only does autism run in my family, but it gallops.
So, I take this personal knowledge with me when I engage with my spectrum of autism friends. I try to take a loose end and make a tie with it so that hopefully after I’m finished with all my interactions, I can see a web of support, love, and understanding within my wonderful spectrum.
Today was THE day from hell. Not only did we forget to set the alarm so we could wake up in the morning, but we were running late. You know the panic that runs so high when you’re running late? Take that and multiply it thousandfold. Then add your loving child telling that you’re a “bad parent” because you forgot to set your alarm. You have the start of a recipe for a disastrous day. I felt like I was in knots.
The above episode is just one layer of the tangles that entwined my day. I was still reeling from my emotional meltdown from last night. For those of you relatively new to The Den, I have clinical depression, which almost borders on being bipolar. I can go from one extreme to the next very quickly when things are incredibly tangled. Some things that really tangle up the ties include not getting enough sleep, not eating well, and constantly feeling isolated.
Mix into this day more tangles from acidic arguments, malodorous moments, and rancid rage. At this point, you can see the taut knot, tightened to the point where it is almost impossible to see where it begins or ends.
How can one even begin to untangle such a tied-up knot like this? I don’t know at this point. Today’s knot has me in a stranglehold.
One thing upon which I can usually rely is music. I have a memory bank of songs that I extract for days like today. Granted, some people say that if one listens to music that is sad, then it will augment the sadness. For me, it is like a security blanket. I know that I can retreat into my music and be comforted by words from other people who understand how I feel.
This song is one of the many I have in my security blanket chest.
(Photo was graciously provided by Mr.Greenjeans by a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.)
I’m throwing my proverbial blogging hat into this month’s National Blog Posting Month The last time I participated in NaBloPoMo was in March 2008. My gosh does that seem light years ago. Sadly, I did not reach my goal of writing a post a day. Hopefully, I can reach that goal this month. I have to focus; I only need to write 28 posts!!
This month’s theme is TIES. I can write on so many variations upon that theme. Stay tuned, my fellow Den Dwellers. I’m excited about writing this month.
Hello and welcome to 2010! Yes, I know I’m about a couple of weeks late welcoming in the new year here at The Den, but it’s still the first month of the year. I’m still good for a few more days.
It has been a wild ride for the past few months. I injured my shoulder last summer while we were camping, and had to have surgery in December. We thought I had a torn rotator cuff and bicep tendon. I did about 6 weeks of physical therapy before surgery in hopes of strengthening the muscles and tendons so that post-operation recovery wouldn’t be so painful. After the surgery (thankfully done arthroscopically), we discovered that I had a huge bone spur and much bursa inflammation. The doctor shaved 5mm off the bone spur, decompressed the bursa, and found that my rotator cuff is starting to fray (oh yippee. /sarcasm.)
Now, I’m in post-surgery physical therapy, and it hurts more now than it did pre-surgery. I haven’t been sleeping well at night because of the pain, either. It might take me at least 3 months until I can sleep through the night without pain. Great. sigh
So… I’ve looked back and discovered that I haven’t written for 5 months. Yikes- that’s a long time. Much has happened: the boys are in another grade, they’re another year older, and have grown MUCH taller.
I hope to get back to writing at a regular pace again here. Did you miss me?
Okay, so I’m feeling a little silly. Here’s a quick poll:
Yes, I’m being a little self-centered, but I do care about my readers. I hope I still have readers. I’d like to know if y’all are still there.
You are a health conscious person, both your health and the health of others. You know all about the health benefits and dangers of the world around you.
I’m still good for a few more days.
