Can I get some sleep, please?

It’s been almost three weeks now that I’ve been on the new medicine combination. I like how the Cymbalta is helping me in that I am not having those mini crying spells during the day. I have energy to get things done. The problem is that I can’t sleep. Even with taking the 1/2 pill of Klonopin at night, I still can’t sleep. I’m up every hour on the hour, staring at my alarm clock, wondering why I’m awake. It doesn’t help that I also have sleep apena, and I have that air hose connected to my nose, so when I wake up and try to get back to sleep, I have to adjust to the air pressure.

When I take a full dose of the Klonopin (.5mg), I am so knocked out that I have a hard time getting up in the morning. However, the last time I took a full dose, I was getting up every hour on the hour. UGH.

I need my sleep. I went to bed at 8:30pm on Tuesday night because I was so tired. I still was waking up at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am. HELP!!!!!

If I take naps during the day, then that messes up my sleep as well. But, I love napping. I love curling up with a blanket and taking a little snooze. So, now I have to figure out if this waking up is medicine induced, or if it’s stress induced.

I’m getting frustrated at not getting a good night’s sleep.

The “miracle question”: Part 2

So, you’ve thought about your answer to what could be your “miracle question”.  Some of you put in some interesting answers in the comments section.

Now, I’m going to share with you what happened during my “miracle question” session. I was talking to my therapist, and she had me visualize (close my eyes and think) about what I would be doing 5 years from now. I didn’t answer it in terms of what I was doing, but what my environment would be like. You see, I do have this theory about the connection between our brain and our environment. If our house, car, purse, is a total disaster area, then our brain is probably in the same state. When we’re depressed, our environment reflects that.

I answered that my house would be clean. I’d have things organized, put away, my computer desk would be clean (right now it looks like it’s a mountain of papers).

Then my therapist said, “Well, this is the miracle question because based on your answer, now you can make steps toward that goal. You said you want the house to be clean- you can now take small steps to get to that goal.” She stressed time and time again small steps. I tend to get overwhelmed very easily and can’t see the forest for the tress.

Now, for those of you who commented, I’d like for you to look at your answer again, and think about what you’d WANT to be doing 5 years from now. What success would you like to achieve? Then, from there, you can start making small steps toward that goal.

My goal for the next two weeks until my next therapy appointment is to get my computer desk area clean. I need to do this.

There was another thing that we talked about in therapy that I found very interesting. I mentioned that the only thing that is keeping me together is the medicine. My exact quote was “I feel better, but my life hasn’t changed any.” My therapist giggled a little, and said, “Let me repeat that back to you.”

She did, and asked me how I thought that sounded. I said that it didn’t make sense. Then she said something that make a million light bulbs go off in my head. She stated that now that I’m on this medicine that is helping me get my brain back on track, it’s up to me to pick up the rest of the pieces. I can’t expect the medicine to do the rest of it for me. I then realized why every time I get to a point in therapy when I feel like “I’m done- I don’t need this anymore” was because the medicine was helping me feel better, but I didn’t learn anything to help me fix my life.

Some interesting food for thought from this therapy session. I realized that I still need the therapy even though the medicine is helping me feel better. I still need help picking up the pieces.

The “miracle question”

Yesterday during my therapy session, my therapist asked me what she calls the “miracle question”:

What do you see yourself doing 5 years from now?

She had me close my eyes, and picture what it would look like.

So, I ask you, my friends: What do you see yourself doing 5 years from now? Comment away…

I’ll post my response in another post. Plus, I’ll explain why this is the “miracle question.”

The Sick Ward

I got a phone call on my way back from my therapy session this afternoon. It was the school. You know how much my stomach sinks when I get a phone call from school? Ugh. Especially when it’s the school nurse. Yep… one of those calls- “Come get your kid, he’s sick.”

Well, this call was very odd. The school nurse tells me that Casey has broken out into a rash. It looks like someone has slapped his cheeks, his chest, stomach, arms, and back are all broken out in this red rash, and it’s starting to look lacy. He does not have a fever. He told the nurse that he feels OK and that he wants to finish the school day.

Meanwhile, I’m an hour away from the school, and I’m starting to panic. I tell the school nurse to call my husband to let him know what is going on, since he’s closer to the school than I am.

I get back to town,  and stopped off at my husband’s office to do some typing. I asked him if he had gotten a phone call from school. He had to go check his voice mail, and sure enough, the school nurse did call. I told him to call the school nurse back and get an update on Casey. According to the nurse, Casey is fine, the rash is growing, and he still doesn’t have a temperature.

I pick the boys up after school, and I run into Casey’s parapro (he has a parapro for his sensory therapy at school.) She tells me that Casey has been a little on edge since he started breaking out in the rash. I told her that Casey does not like to get sick, and he will panic when the words “doctor”, “sick”, and “fever” are mentioned. She told me that she told him that he probably just scraped his arm on the wall and that’s why he has a rash. She was trying to calm him down, getting him to think that he wasn’t sick.

I talked to the teacher, and she helped me check Casey out. Sure enough, the rash has gotten worse, and the teacher tells me that it looks like Fifth Disease. Great. Just what I need. The only “good” thing about this rash is that he’s no longer contagious one the rash breaks out. Now I need to watch that Kerry doesn’t get it. Actually, I need to watch when Kerry will get it.

I had a Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) meeting after school, so the boys hung out with me during the meeting. We got home, I checked out Casey’s rash again, and it was redder and it was covering more of his body. I called the Nurse on Call at the pediatrician’s office.  You would have thought that I had cut off Casey’s arm because he was yelling and crying so much. He was not happy that I had called the Nurse on Call. I had to  make sure that this rash was indeed Fifth Disease and not something else. I was not taking him to the Emergency Room for something like this.

After 10 minutes of talking to the nurse, trying calm Casey down, and looking at the rash again and again, the nurse confirms that it is Fifth Disease. Sigh. The rash will be around for anywhere from one to three weeks.

Ugh. Oh well…. At least this didn’t happen when they were babies. I prayed that this wouldn’t happen when they were babies. I guess I should have prayed that this wouldn’t happen at all.

 

 

Darned if I do, and darned if I don’t

Great. Just when I thought that I figured out why I am depressed, I get this in my email box from the FDA. I’m on Singulair because of my asthma. I wonder what Philip at Furious Seasons would say.

Suicidality and Behavior/Mood Changes with Singulair

Singulair (montelukast sodium) is approved to treat asthma and symptoms of allergic rhinitis (sneezing, stuffy nose, runny nose, itching of nose), and to prevent exercise-induced asthma. Singulair is part of a class of “anti-leukotriene” drugs. These drugs act by blocking the activity of leukotrienes, chemicals that are involved in airway inflammation.

In the past year, Merck & Company, Inc. has updated the patient information for Singulair to include these postmarketing adverse events: tremor, depression, suicidal thinking and behavior (including suicide), and anxiousness.

In March 2008, FDA issued an early communication about an ongoing safety review of Singulair. The agency is investigating a possible association between the use of Singulair and behavior/mood changes, suicidal thinking and behavior, and suicide.

Early communications are in keeping with FDA’s commitment to inform the public about its ongoing safety reviews of drugs. An early communication does not mean that FDA has concluded that there is a causal relationship between the drug and the emerging safety issue. It means that FDA is considering the information but has not yet reached a conclusion.

FDA is working with Merck to perform a complex analysis of Singulair data and will communicate the conclusions and recommendations to the public. The agency is also reviewing postmarketing reports it has received of behavior/mood changes, suicidal thinking, and suicide in patients who have taken Singulair as well as other leukotriene modifying medications, such as Accolate (zafirlukast) and Zyflo (zileuton) and Zyflo CR.

Advice for patients …
Patients should not stop taking these medications before talking to their health care professional about this information. FDA urges patients to report side effects from use of these medications to FDA’s MedWatch Adverse Event Reporting Program at: http://www.fda.gov/medwatch/report/consumer/consumer.htm

The Early Communication About an Ongoing Safety Review of Montelukast (Singulair) may be found at: www.fda.gov/cder/drug/early_comm/montelukast.htm